Posted October 14, 2009
‘D’ Day = Departure Day
Unexpected news today… He has to return to MEPS tomorrow for another physical, due to his hernia. He’s supposed to move from ‘receiving’ to the infirmary after arriving in San Diego – for surgery and 6-8 weeks of recovery before continuing the rigors of training. So… he’ll be leaving early in the morning and staying overnight, knocking our one of our final nights with him, Day 3. Praise God we still (theoretically), have Days 2 and 1.
Tonight, he opted for hitting our favorite full-service Mexican restaurant. Getting his fill of as many things he loves to eat as possible before ‘shipping out’. It was an enjoyable dinner. Quite different, emotionally, than my morning when I stood inside a dear friend’s living room, hugging her and weeping. I’m not afraid for him as much as I’m grieving him flying from the next, growing up… and moving out. I’m not so much ‘afraid’ because “I know in whom I have believed and am PERSUADED that He is able to KEEP that which I have committed to Him,” my son.
We sat on the couch together after arriving home from dinner, to watch a movie together that’d he’d picked up. His long and muscle-weighted legs stretched toward me on the other end, his big feet hugging my side. It’s hard to believe that such a big and muscular guy was once the size of my petite hand – inside me growing, and that I’m only a mere two inches above his shoulders. Now he’s growing away from me further than ever before – a huge leap – and not only do I have to ‘let go’ of him physically, and to a greater degree emotionally, but also encourage and support his leap of faith with enthusiasm that let’s him know that I’m excited WITH him and 100% behind him all the way! Talk about a tough job…
When our children are excited over a new venture, they want us to engage with them in their excitement, just as I expect from others when I’m excited. It’s hurtful when the people we love do not mirror our excitement when we are excited. It causes us to feel less important, less valued, less appreciated and loved. Those are all the things I DON’T want him to feel from me before he leaves our home. And that’s quite a balance act of the emotions of a mother’s heart (and a daddy’s).
It was a good evening.
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