Posted October 16, 2009
‘D’ Day = Departure Day
One more full day left – tomorrow – and that’s it until boot camp graduation, sometime mid- to late February by my calculations.
This will be a no-holds-barred blog. Sometimes I won’t speak too favorably about circumstances – like today. I learned that the reason my guy had to go back to MEPS overnight, to see the doctor again before he ‘ships out’, is because his paperwork turned up in the recruiting office with NO documentation about his hernia and need for surgery before the rigors of boot camp!! From a mother’s standpoint: EIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is when I remind myself of the GRACIOUS command from God, “BE ANGRY, but sin not.” This is the time when I EMBRACE the first part of that scripture with a lot of force. It’s my permission to BE ANGRY, with a ‘pull back’ to not cross the line and say or do something I will regret – though I don’t know what that might be in this case. There is really NOTHING I can do, except be angry. I’m so glad God gives us that permission, that emotion He granted us for a reason.
There’s always a trail that leads from something and to something. Anger is largely rooted in fear; and fear rooted in lack of trust; and lack of trust rooted in… real life experiences of others letting us down – hard – too many times.
Herein lies choices. There are always – ALWAYS – mindset choices.
So my mind flips to another scripture – all of which I take VERY seriously – “TRUST in the Lord with ALL your heart and do not DEPEND on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge HIM and HE WILL direct your path.” Now, I’m trying – really hard – to ‘let go and let God’, as the saying goes, but this scripture says that He will direct MY path when I acknowledge Him in all things. It doesn’t say He will direct my SON’S path. My SON has to acknowledge God in all his own ways – himself. I can’t do that for him. Therein lies the ‘gap’ that fear tries to fill.
So my mind flips to another scripture I depend on, “Be anxious for NOTHING, but in ALL things – A L L things – by prayer and petition, let your requests be known to GOD, and the peace that surpasses ALL understanding WILL keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Okay… but where’s the assurance that He will PROTECT AND SHIELD MY BABIES?!!
My mind flips again; this time to the history throughout the Word that PROVES there is POWER in blessing and cursing our children, and ‘generational’ blessings or cursing. For the sake of my children and their future generations, I feel I MUST cover all my bases with God somehow, for assurance of my son’s protection in every way. (I know; my ways are not God’s ways. His thoughts are higher and I ‘see through a glass darkly” not knowing the ‘greater plan’… I’m simply being REAL here, human… no holds barred.)
I LOVE the scriptures that include the WHOLE HOUSE in the blessing and prayers of said in faith to God by a parent. I’m banking on that generational thing that begins with me and his daddy – as the parents. For example, “As for me and MY HOUSE, we will serve the Lord.”
So, in striving to cover ALL my bases to gain assurance that my guy WILL be shielded and protected by the hands of my ALMIGHTY God, my Abba (Father), who gave HIS son that mine might be free, I wrote a DETAILED blessing which I have not only prayed over him in my heart to God, but I’m going to SPEAK ALOUD over my son tomorrow evening – to his face – BELIEVING for the both of us EVERY WORD. I want him to HEAR the words of power and faith that I, his mother, am embracing for him as he LEAPS into real life from the high dive of the deep end of life’s big pool with all the gusto and bravery he had as a 3 year old when he literally took a leap off a high dive. (I shake my head… as this has been my son’s way of leading life from the time he could pull himself up and waddle around the coffee table.)
But like then, when he was three and the instructor walked all the way up those many steps, his arms on either side of y guy, and all the way down the plank, then before the big leap, he circled my little guy TIGHTLY in his arms and they leaped TOGETHER, my God is doing that with my guy RIGHT NOW.
Just like he pulled on the shirt tail of the tall and muscular swim instructor and said “I want to jump off the high dive,” he told God some time ago, “I want to make a difference – through the military.” Thus began God’s journey with him to the flight of steps (enlisting process), and then walking the plank with him to the very tip end – this Sunday morning. And as he steps on that bus, out of my tight embrace, God will be wrapping his arms tightly around my son and together, they’ll leap into the depths of his future, down deep in boot camp, and pushing his way back up, to take a deep breath and give me that big smile of pride – as a U.S. Marine.
I will bless my son tomorrow evening, with every Biblical blessing I know to pull from, and every base I know to cover. Then… I will rest, in supernatural peace ‘that surpasses all understanding’, as I continue to ‘watch and pray’ as I have all of his 19 years, and continue to trust God with him, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, month by month, year by year.
I WILL BELIEVE in all that I am blessing and claiming for my son, because that is all I know how to do: trust and pray.
My son is NOT going through the military journey without his family, and certainly not without God. I’M GOING WITH HIM in heart and mind and spirit… all the way… and my GOD will be physically leading and embracing him all that way.
Until graduation, one more day with my guy…
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